Avatar World: Deadpooled
by giantgnat
Summary: A certain badass merc ends up in the Avatar World. He'll kick ass, take names and insult them. He'll make friends. He'll take on the firebending weenies. He's just gonna have a good time... RATED T FOR VIOLENCE AND MILD LANGUAGE. Lots of Fourth wall breaking, too!
1. Chapter 1

_*Disclaimer*_

_I own not Deadpool. 'Tis a pity, but I don't. 'Tis also a pity I don't own Avatar. Then again, fans of both may decide to kill me if I mess up, so… yeah, maybe 'tis for the the best, aye?_

* * *

**CHAPTER ONE**

The sun beat down on the village with vengeance. People were in their homes trying to cool off, to no avail. A single cabbage merchant stood in the heat taking better care of his cabbages than himself, covering hem in cool cloth and sprinkling drinking water on them. The poor beautiful things were ignored… why did not people understand the beauty of Cabbages?

He looked east, hoping to see someone with "I need Cabbages" written on them.

He stared on in shock.

One man walked towards the village. He wore clothes that were… strange to say the least. Red and black spandex, a mask with black pools around the eyes. Though the Merchant didn't know that. Twin katanas on his back, though the Merchant couldn't see them. He continued to talk to himself, though the Merchant couldn't hear him.

"**I knew it, **_**knew **_**it. I should have made the right turn at Kuala Lumpur, but no, that damn GPS had to say left… well, maybe it didn't help that I was playing Crush the GPS with it, but hey, I was bored!"** The man said, pouting below his mask.

"**And how do you know I'm pouting, huh?"** He asked, only to answer himself by saying, **"Oh, **_**right**_**, you're the one writing me."**

The Cabbage Merchant looked in confusion as the man neared him, seemingly talking to himself. Then he looked up- or down- at the Merchant, and shrugged.

"**Old midget. Maybe I should have brought Domino- she doesn't admit it, but I'm pretty sure she has a thing for old midgets…"**

Then he saw the cabbages.

"**Holy smokes, man-or-midget! GET BACK!"** He yelled, kicking the Merchant a few feet back, before drawing Katanas and slicing the cabbages, cart and all, into bits, ignoring the Merchant's screams. He then took out a lighter and set fire to the remaining bits.

"**There, that's better."** He said wiping his hands on the Merchant, who was sobbing pitifully and yelling "MY CABBAGES!".

Ignoring the sobbing Merchant, the man stood up. **"Hey, what's the deal! You revealed the midget and Domino, but not me?! Tell the readers my name, ya dork!"** Yelled Deadpool at the sky.

"**That's better… Now let's kick asses and take names**!" He yelled in soprano mode.

He ran into the village giggling like a young girl, while the Merchant continued to yell "MY CAAAAABBAGES! WHY?!"

All in all, he was probably in for a good time…


	2. Chapter 2

The small inn was packed with drinkers. A bunch of Earth Nation soldiers were holed up in one corner.

An old man entered the inn, ordering a tea in a pleasant voice. As he sipped it, and inevitable cringed at the foul taste, he sat down next to a young man with bags under his eyes.

"Ah, excuse me young man." Said the old man, in reality the Dragon of the west, brother of the Fire lord, Iroh himself. "I was hoping to rendezvous with a friend. Has anyone recently passed by?"

The man snorted, and said. "Unless your friend was damn Zuko of the damn fire nation, no. The damn prince of the damn fire nation was damn here. Damn."

Iroh's eyes widened. Zuko had blown his cover here. Why?

He would ask, but the door to the inn opened again. Not gently either. As the remaining charred remains of the door rained over suddenly sober drunks, Deadpool stood there, wielding some sort of flamethrower.

"**Ooh, do you guys serve Chimichangas? I love Chimichangas! They're like me- they look AND taste good! All the ladies just wanna bite of ol' Deadpool! Say, any of you guys got a GPS?"** He chattered.

The Earth soldiers stood up, slightly nervous after the last encounter they'd had with strangers and fire.

Their leader, wielding a hammer, guffawed. Deadpool noticed that behind him was a broken looking woman. Her cheeks were bruised, her clothes tattered. Behind his mask, Deadpool's face hardened.

"And who are you, you nut case?" The man, named Gow sneered.

"**Let's see… I'm here to be the main character in this story, kick ass and take names, and then have a good time… at least according to the writer, that is. I just realized your ass is one I'd like to kick, but that would mean I'd have to kick the whole of you, 'cuz you ARE an ass." **Jabbered the mad merc.

Someone laughed. Gow looked to his right to see Iroh unsuccessfully trying to hide a wide grin. He snarled and clubbed the ground with his hammer, and a rock jutted out, flying for Iroh's head.

Iroh's mouth opened and ejected a large flame that burned up the rock. It then slightly burned Gow's clothes. As people ran away screaming or hid, the Earth Nation soldiers backed away.

"**BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ya freakin bean pod, ya just got your slimy behind singed by an old man! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"** Laughed Deadpool.

Iroh smiled. "The tea was hot." He explained.

Gow grimaced, and signaled to the others to leave. The odds were against him. "We'll meet again." He growled.

As he turned to leave, Deadpool yelled. **"And leave the woman!"**

Gow glared at him. "Why? Who is she?"

"**Yo' mama, suckah!" **Said Deadpool, raising the Flame thrower.

Gow growled, but left the woman.

Iroh approached the woman, who was now on the ground, sobbing. He kneeled beside her.

"What is your name, daughter?" He asked kindly.

"S-Sensu." She said, trying to control herself.

Deadpool watched the old man prying details from the woman and comforting her. He then left from the door.

Ten minutes later, Gow and the Earth soldiers were at their usual gambling spot, when a grenade came from nowhere, killing half of them.

Two remaining soldiers reached for their weapons, when in a blur of red and black in the smoke, one of them was dead. As the other looked around nervously, before he was shot in the back.

Gow was few meters away, coughing blood. One of his eyes was shut where wooden debris had nailed him. As his good eye opened, he saw the madman in spandex from the inn. He considered Earth Bending, but he couldn't even move a pebble in this state.

"Why?" He croaked.

Deadpool reloaded his desert eagle. **"There are a lot of reasons, bub. I don't like people who take advantage of women. I don't like people who shit around with me. I also don't like your face. Also, the writer wanted to show the reader that I ain't ALL fun n' games. So… bye bye, cow! Have a moo!" **

He pulled the trigger.


	3. Chapter 3

"Hello again, young man." Said Iroh as Deadpool raided the soldier's armory, as well as stealing the best ostrich horse from the stables.

"**Oh, hi, Yoda! The force be with you!"** said the insane mercenary as he tried one of the crossbows. He frowned, then smashed it against the wall.

"You did a good deed yesterday, son." Said the old man, stroking the ostrich horse's head.

The mercenary dropped the splinters of the crossbow, then looked at Iroh. **"How is she?"**

Iroh smiled sadly. "Fine, thanks to you. But she is distraught. Her husband went off to find their eldest son, who was in the army; then her younger son, a mere child, went off to search for both."

Deadpool's jaw hardened. **"I'll find 'em." **He said, mounting the ostrich horse, before yelling, **"Damn, these things are uncomfortable. "**

"Wait," said Iroh, grabbing the mount's reins. "I will come with you."

"**No offense Kung fu Grand pa, but I can take care of myself! I ain't a mercenary for nothing, ya know- I don't make a living by killing cute little teddy bears." **Drawled Deadpool.

"I would like to help. Anyways, I'm searching for my nephew. And I make tea too." Said Iroh grinning and winking.

"**I don't know…" **Said Deadpool, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

"I give good advice too." Iroh mentioned.

Deadpool's eyes snapped on the old man. "**Including lady advice? Huh, huh?"**

Iroh smiled wolfishly. "I was a charm with the ladies back in my old days. Maybe I can teach you some old tricks, hm?"

"**YAY! Finally, the writer gave me a chick scoring guru! Teach me sensei! Give me the key to the Chickamehameha, Master Roshi! Make this Anakin into Darth Vader… wait, that wasn't right…."**

Iroh sighed and smiled. "So… I fetch my mount, yes?"

Deadpool once more scratched his chin. **"Sure. But I'm warning you… LAST** **ONE TO LEAVE THE VILLAGE IS A SOUR CHEESEPUFF!" **He raced out of the stables, leaving a Deadpool and ostrich horse shaped hole in the wall. Iroh sighed heavily, then a phantom of his misspent youth manifested, and he grinned widely and grabbed for another ostrich horse. A minute later, there was an Iroh and ostrich horse shaped hole next to the Deadpool and ostrich horse shaped hole in the wall.

The world was just about to get a double dose of awesome.


	4. Chapter 4

Iroh was going crazy.

Then again, most people did after spending more than a few hours with Deadpool. Who was still talking.

"**-And then I was like, no shit bustah, you goin' down! And he's like, nuh-uh, and I'm like, you so are! And then he swings his ham fist, and I kick him between the legs and he's like, ooh my family jewels, and then I give him the ol' Big Chimichanga Uppercut and he's out cold, and then I tell Captain 'Murrica, that's how we do it, yo!" **Said the mercenary, continuing to talk for nearly two hours straight.

Needless to say, Iroh was regretting coming with the obvious madman.

"Will you be quiet already?" Groaned the old man. Now he knew how Zuko felt when he started on his infamous tea lectures.

"**Nah, where's the fun in that? Now, that reminds me, there was once this mutant chick who could mute people and then Wolverine and I went to LA to track her, and you're not going to believe what-"**

Iroh held up his hand, suddenly tense. Deadpool stopped talking. He had heard it too. Fire crackling. A camp.

Iroh gave a gesture and both dismounted silently- at least as silent as Deadpool could be. He was grumbling about being sore in the lower regions. Iroh shot him an intense look.

The camp was big. Iroh knew that the standard unit was supposed to be twenty, but judging from the broken tents and the hardened faces of the fire nation soldiers visible, they had seen many battles, and they had probably been reduced to, what, 15, 16 men?

There were a few prisinors there too. They're hands and feet were bound, and they were rake thin. Among them was one child- that women's boy, of course, thought Iroh.

"Deadpool, do we have a plan?" He whispered to his comrade.

Silence.

"Deadpool?" Iroh looked around, seeing no one.

"**IN YO' FACE, SUCKAS!" **Iroh's head whipped back at the camp, and face palmed.

Deadpool stood there with three fire nation soldiers dead around him, his swords in his hands. Two soldiers blinked once before charging him. Deadpool threw his swords in the air and grabbed and shot at the men with his guns. They dropped dead.

"**Bulls-eye, brutha!" **

A fire bender had just woken up from a nap, and threw a fireball at Deadpool.

The mercenary was about to jump out of the way, when another fireball intercepted it. Both of them looked to see Iroh standing there, in a combat pose.

Two more fire benders and nearly eleven spearmen came running. Iroh sighed. "Why must you never listen?"

Deadpool's grin could be seen behind his mask. **"Ask the writer that!"**

The two fire benders shot short fire bursts at Iroh, trying to test his strength. Iroh opened his mouth and let out a massive barrage of flames, devouring the fire bursts and nearly hitting the duo. Then Iroh sent a burst of flame at one of them that threw him back.

Meanwhile, Deadpool was busy. Not fighting. He was busy making cool Deadpooly rhymes. Fighting the fire nation soldiers was just a side bonus.

"**Here comes the smoking hot Deadpool!"**

A spearman was beheaded.

"**He ain't yo' bloody fool!"**

Another found his own spear in his chest.

"**I don't give a damn about you!"**

Two of them fell to the ground, clutching their intestines. Yes, intestines.

"**Cuz I'm so darn COOOOOL!"**

Two more fell with bullet holes in their faces.

"**I'm a master of Kung Fu!"**

One more fell with a dozen bullet holes in his back.

"**I'm the damn awesome DEADPOOOOOOOOOOL!"**

The rest of the soldiers were ripped apart from a few grenades.

As the soldiers were slaughtered, Iroh was taking care of the benders. They were sprawled on the ground with burnt clothes and singed hair. As he looked at the soldiers' corpses, he winced. Any other man would have barfed his brains out, but Iroh had seen carnage before. He didn't like it, but then it was reality.

"Come. We have to free the prisinors."

"**Fine. Let's get a time skip for next chapter, right?"**


	5. Chapter 5

_**SORRY 'BOUT THE LONG WAIT, FOLKS. TRYING TO LEARN PROGRAMMING ON MY OWN, AND TRULY FORGOT ABOUT MY LITTLE TALE HERE. ANYWAYS, LOYAL READERS (IF THERE ARE ANY) GIVE ME REVIEWS! I REALLY NEED THEM! **_

They were back in the village. With most of the soldiers back, the village could replace its former corrupt and now dead guardsmen. And with the family itself back, there was quite a celebration going on.

In the corner of it all sat Deadpool. He was ignoring the festivities, scratching away at some sort of bloodstained journal with a pen. The journal was something Deadpool held close to his heart. This bundle of papers was more dear to him than his swords, and that was saying a lot.

Even as he scribbled something, let's see some of the earlier entries. These were not written by his hand, but by another- a scientist, it seemed.

_Day 15:_

_Wade Wilson has retained remarkable amounts of patience and stoic acceptance to the pain throughout the procedure. I must say, it is unnerving to see him as still as a mask when he is probably feeling insanely obscene amounts to pain, and personally, I think he's gone mad. But we have to keep going- the Department has high hopes for Mr. Wilson._

Let us skip a few entries:

_Day 21:_

_As I feared, Mr. Wade has lost his sanity. He grumbles all day about a, and I quote, "Mad fanfic writer getting all the story muddled". Also, his skin deformation has been halted, but too late, I fear. He is quite a horror to behold. But despite his ramblings, I still see intelligence in those eyes. I see cunning there. It is almost disturbing. He has been given his former codename 'Deadpool'. I heard Walter say it was because there was 'dead pool' on how long he would live back in the early days when his cancer was getting the best of Mr. Wilson, or Deadpool. Amanda suggested it was because he worked as an assassin in Japan and used to leave his victims dead in a large pool of blood. Whatever the case, he will soon be up to testing._

Another skip is in order- a long one this time:

_I dont have time. HE is after me I cn;t even sparwe time proofreading. Everything was going so well but something went wrong o was there nohing right? Deadpool is hunting us. Amanda and Walter are dead. It's worse thenwhen Weapon X tried to escape he didn't takea jo y from owur pain! Now he's closing in an di can do nohing but wait… oh nosd hes com0oing_

_This is Wade. Wade Wilson. The Mercenary. And let me tell you, the only reason I'm writing this well, is because there is someone else writing me. Someone writing about me writing. Hehe. It's almost as cool as Chimichangas. Now this here diary will be mine by rights of 'finder's keepers' or is it 'killer's keepers'? I did kill that round ass lab coat, and it's gonna take time to dry the diary of the blood. Ah well. A reminder, then._

After this, there was no interesting entry, most describing Mexican food and women. Guess who wrote them. The one he was writing right now, though was of value. Which is why…

"**He won't tell you what I'm writing. Neither will I, because I don't know what I'm writing either. Technically, it's the Supreme Writer who's writing this all up, and since he ain't writing what I'm writing, you can't read what I'm writing, and as per law of suspense, I don't know what I'm writing either, but I'll just refuse to admit it and say I don't want to tell you, which is also a lie, but can't have everything, can ya? " **Said Deadpool as he wrote.

"Ahem."

Deadpool looked up to see Iroh standing there. "Who were you talking to?"

Deadpool shrugged**. "The readers. Gotta tell 'em what's going on, the narrator depends on me to make things… interesting."**

Iroh looked at him blankly.

Deadpool's masked eyes dripped tears. **"No-one gets me…"** He turned away from Iroh with loud, dramatic sobs.

Iroh laughed. "I brought you some tea, my friend." He held up a cup of tea as if it was gold- for Iroh, it was probably more precious.

Deadpool sniffed. **"For me?"**

"Yes, for you."

Deadpool snatched the cup, somehow not spilling the tea, and revealed his mouth by pulling up his mask, sipping the hot tea. **"Tastes like a cat's piss. Maybe worse." **He said casually.

Normally, this would have fired Iroh into battle mode, but now he was staring at the deformed, wrinkled scabs of skin around Deadpool's lips.

"What happened to you?" Iroh whispered.

Deadpool shrugged. **"It was a long time ago."** He didn't say anything else.

Iroh didn't push. If the normally hyperactive mercenary was not talking, it was best not to make him talk. Anyways, a man's past was his own business, as Iroh knew too well. His own past wasn't so florid- he had done many things, out of which many he still regretted.

"**Who is your nephew?"** Said Deadpool suddenly.

Now it was Iroh's turn to be defensive. What to tell this man? Was he some sort of spy?

Then for some inexplicable reason, he felt obliged to speak the truth. "You know the man named Zuko who passed through this village some time ago?"

"**Fire nation prince, badass guy, scarred, saved a family but still wasn't trusted Zuko?"**

Iroh nodded.

"**He has your nephew?" **

Iroh laughed out of surprise. "No, he _is_ my nephew."

Suddenly, in a blur of red, Deadpool was behind him, with one blade at Iroh's neck, the other at his back.

"**Lemme get this straight,"** Said, no, _growled _Deadpool , **"You are the prince's uncle."**

Iroh grunted in affirmative.

"**And thus you are the brother of the man responsible for still waging this war?"**

He grunted again.

"**Then why don't I kill you right now?"**

"Because we do not share his ideals. We are fugitives of the fire nation."

"**Good 'nuff for me!"** Yelled Deadpool cheerily, suddenly back in front of Iroh, sheathing his swords. **"Now, let me drink the rest of this cat piss you call tea, and then we can go, kick ass, take names, and your nephew, and have a goody good time after the family reunion! Huh, huh, whaddya say Yoda?"**

_He is in remarkable spirits for a man who was tense and about to take my life a second ago_, thought Iroh, _There is more to you than meets the eyes, Mister Deadpool…_


	6. Chapter 6

Deadpool and Iroh were on the road again.

And again, Iroh was on the edge of a mental breakdown. Deadpool's company had that effect on people.

"**Now this is just lazy, a bloody damn replica of chapter 3! I mean, GET ORIGINAL you dork! You ain't gonna get reviews by repeating chapters! Talk to me! TALK TO ME! Don't ignore me, you! Just because you're writing me doesn't mean that you can do whatever you want with me! Well, actually it does, so you can make me clean Wolverine's room while listening to Justin Beiber with Galactus sticking his snot on me… OH DAMN YOU MOUTH! Er, I meant none of that! You do everything awesome! You invented awesome! Please… just not Justin Beiber…"**

Iroh corrected himself in his saddle, sighing. "Are you ever quiet, Deadpool?"

"**Not when I'm awake. Then again, I've been told I talk in my sleep…"**

Iroh's palm met Iroh's face. The Dragon of the West Facepalm. Useful when travelling with Deadpool.

They walked on. The Deadpool said, **"You never gave me those lady tips, ya know."**

Iroh looked at him bemused. "I would if you let me speak."

"**Hey, I never covered your face in toilet paper!"**

Iroh shook his head tiredly. "First, never keep talking in front of them. That'll just scare them off. Also-"

"**Why? I ain't crazy! Well, actually I am, but just because I talk-"**

"Also, you never interrupt them."

"**But you interrupted me!"**

"You did it first."

"**No."**

"Yes you did."

"**No I didn't." **

"Yes."

"**No."**

"Yes."

"**YES!"**

"NO!"

"**See, you admit it!" **

"What? I didn't… you… forget it." Said Iroh, giving up.

"**But I've got a good memory! I can't FORGET it!"**

Just as Iroh was about to shoot back with a (hopefully) witty reply before performing the Dragon of the West Facepalm, they were both thrown back on their butts. Their ostrich horses panicked and ran away, somewhere.

"**Owch! My eenie meenie hurts!"** Complained Deadpool, as Iroh groaned from both pain and Deadpool's inability to shut up.

A girl came into view. She was small, petite and pretty. Her hair were pulled back in a bun, with a few bangs in hanging. Her eyes had strange misty look about them- she was blind, perhaps? She wore the green garments of the Earth Kingdom.

As sweet as she looked, she was also looking pretty threatening, standing in combat pose, face set fiercely.

Iroh raised his hands in a peace gesture, and was about to say something soothing, when Deadpool ran at the girl. Iroh was afraid he would kill her, but he merely locked her in a bear hug and lifted her in the air.

"**It's so CUTE! Can I keep it? Please? Please? Pretty please?"**

The girl was struggling against his grasp, "Lemme go, and I'll show you how cute I am!"

Iroh resisted the urge to burst out laughing and told Deadpool, "Let her go."

He did, after a few minutes of grumbling. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she flexed herself, stomping the earth. A second later both Deadpool and Iroh were neck high in rocks.

"Now," she said, cracking her knuckles, "We're gonna talk."

The venom in her voice was enough to make Deadpool whimper.

Why didn't Iroh mention _this_ in his lady tips?


	7. Chapter 7

It wasn't exactly a homely campfire the trio found themselves huddled around that night.

Normally, Toph would have never let the two off the hook this easily, but she was stressed. She'd had a falling out with her team, because of her usual bossiness and laziness. She needed comfort, and Iroh had eased her worries.

Unfortunately, Deadpool was in the package, too.

The Merc with a Mouth was well named. Toph couldn't stand the jokes he made on her expense, but his blabber _did_ distract her from her problems.

"… **And why are you even so badass anyways, huh? Last I heard, little girls like princesses and princes, not pummeling innocent travelers!"**

"Shut up." She snarled.

"**Why so Toph?"** Asked Deadpool, before rolling on the floor near the fire, laughing like hell.

"**Get it? Toph, tough…? Oh, I crack me up…"** He wiped a tear from his eye.

Toph chuckled despite herself. That was a good one, Sokka had made it up once. The thought of her team was enough to sober her up once more.

Iroh noticed. "Do not worry." He said warmly, "Your friends did not mean what they said."

"But they don't get it. I don't want people treating me like I'm different just because I can't see!" Toph said.

"**Ya don't get it, do ya?"** Spoke up Deadpool.

"What?" Scowled Toph.

"**They're just pissed that you're a lazy soft ass chick that doesn't want to work."** Said Deadpool, twirling an imaginary moustache.

Toph's fist clenched. "Say that again?" She spoke menacingly.

Deadpool dove behind Iroh, pushing the old man between him and the enraged Earth bender. **"You say you don't want to be treated different but you treat yourself differently! Aw damn it, ya sadistic fool of a fanfic writer, you had to write me saying it…"**

Toph looked like she was going to explode, when she suddenly deflated.

"You're right." She said, defeated.

"**I am? Oh, right, I am! I'm always right! I give better advice than Grandpa Yoda the tea and weed addict!" **Boasted Deadpool.

Iroh sighed. "Look there, Deadpool."

Deadpool looked to see Toph was walking away from the fire, head bowed.

"**What?"** He asked.

Iroh glared at him.

"**Hey, that ain't my fault!" **

Iroh rubbed his forehead. "I'll go talk to her."

"**Very well, assistant. I've given the cure- go monitor its effects! Hah, I said monitor!"**

Iroh shook his head, muttering, and walked away after Toph.

He found her sitting on a small boulder. He stood next to her small frame, and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Do not mind my companion. He speaks without thinking."

"But he was right. Everyone helped each other. Everyone contributed. Me? I was the lazy blind girl who bossed people around." She said, looking away. Even sad, she wasn't going to let Iroh see her red rimmed eyes.

"Perhaps so. But you can make amends."

"Can I?"

"Yes. Yes you can." Said Iroh confidently.

She looked at him, and wiped a ear. "Thanks."

"**Ah, I ain't interrupting, am I? I ain't a mushy mushy kind of guy."**

Both looked up to see Deadpool shifting foot to foot. Toph internally cursed herself. She hadn't been paying attention, she was so lost in self pity. If it had been someone else, they'd be dead by now.

"What is it, Deadpool?" Sighed Iroh.

"**Well, there's this…"** He turned his back on them, and Iroh gasped. Toph didn't, because she was blind, but it was probably for best she didn't see what the old man saw.

The entire back of his spandex top was torn and tattered. His skin was already covered in the scabs and scars Iroh had seen and that was bad enough, but he was impaled with a couple of arrows as well.

"What happened?" Iroh asked, snapping to attention.

"**Band-aids. Nasty wogglies, too."**

Iroh frowned. "I think you mean bandits."

"I don't sense anybody." Said Toph.

"**What are you, Goku? Gohan? Bunch of 'em in the trees! They shot at me! These things hurt, you know!"**

"Where are they?" Asked Iroh, scanning the surrounding area.

"**Dining with the devil,"** Said Deadpool, patting his swords, which were currently hanging from his belt.

"You killed them?" Asked Toph in horror. She was tough, but killing someone was not something so light.

"No matter," Said Iroh quickly, trying to save Toph from Deadpool's rants, "Deadpool, you need medical attention. I have experience as a doctor…"

"**Nah, no need, doc."** He ripped the arrows out of his back almost nonchalantly. As a shocked Iroh watched, the wounds healed in front of his very eyes.

"How did…?" He muttered.

"**I'm a fast healer, Yoda. Get used to it!"** Said Deadpool, once more hanging his blades on his back.

"What's going on?" Growled Toph, frustrated.

Iroh had no idea what to say, so Deadpool filled in. **"Nothing, sugarcakes. Don't get your tiny self all worked up."**

Promptly, a large wedge of rock nailed him between his legs. Toph walked away, in the direction she had come from.

Deadpool meanwhile eased himself off the rock whimpering. He yelled**, "THAT WAS SO NOT COOL!"**, Walking in the direction Toph was, before Iroh grabbed his arm. "We need to talk."

"**It can wait Yoda! Sugarcakes is getting far, and my eenie meenie hurts!"** Complained Deadpool in a whiny voice.

"We will talk later," Promised Iroh as he let Deadpool go. The mad mercenary ran off in the direction of Toph, singing "Psycho Killer", leaving Iroh standing there.

"What are you, Deadpool?" He asked himself thoughtfully.


	8. Chapter 8

The bunch was huddled in camp once more.

There was no fire this time, because it was raining. The dreary blankets of clouds cast a dark aura on the little camp. No one was in good spirits.

Except, of course, Deadpool.

The mercenary was sharpening his swords while singing 'rock-a-bye-baby'. Iroh was glumly sipping some cold tea he'd made before the rain. He had a great fear of cold tea. Toph was bored and was trying to sleep on the sheet spread on the muddy ground with another sheet stretched on the tree branches above her to ward off the rain.

"Shut up, Deadpool," yelled Toph, trying to stuff clods of mud in her ears.

Deadpool, grinned through his mask**. "Ooh. Someone's touchy… have a Tophee! Get it? Toph? Toffee?"** He rolled in the mud, laughing madly.

"Argh!" She growled, smacking her head on the ground. She couldn't even smack him with rocks, now in soggy earth.

A few minutes later, the rain stopped. Iroh looked west and said, "Black clouds on the horizon. There is yet more rain to come."

"**It's rainy, rainy, RAINY DAY!" **screeched Deadpool in a soprano that made even Iroh wince. Toph continued to try and stuff leaves and mud into her ears.

Ten minutes passed. Deadpool was still murmuring the tune of some song, while Toph had finally nodded off.

Iroh got up, an approached the mad merc. "Come with me."

Deadpool stabbed a finger at Iroh, "**Not unless you have ice-cream, Chimichangas and hot babes."**

"We need to talk, Deadpool." Said Iroh more forcefully.

Deadpool scratched his chin. **"Is it The Talk? You know, the one about puberty? Yeah, I had that one, but it was with a sea lion, as I recall…"**

Iroh grabbed Deadpool and dragged him away.

"**No Bella! Run! Save yourself! I'm a big sparkly vampire, don't worry about me! Although I did die in my last movie as Cedric Diggory, but that was J.K. Rowling's fault! Run! Saved the Pandas! I will be the Hokage! Force be with you!"** Cried Deadpool as he was dragged away.

Iroh finally dumped the madman on a pile of leaves, before sitting in front of him cross-legged.

Deadpool raised his hands in a mystic gesture. **"Namaste, Master! Let us unveil the secrets of all existence! Let us start by cursing the mad fanfic writer who thought it possible for an old man to drag me away like kitten litter!"**

"We must talk, Deadpool. About who- or what- you are." Said Iroh sternly.

"**Well, that just hurts." **Said Deadpool, all traces of humor gone.

Iroh and Deadpool looked at each other. A minute. Two minutes. Three.

"**Fine."** Said Deadpool, before jumping up in a ballet pose.

"**I wasn't always a badass bad-guy killer. When it all started, Deadpool was no more than a Babypool. But then, he wasn't born with that name, and someone thought it was a good idea to call him-"**

"Wade."

The baby looked up, and chortled.

The woman smiled, but she was in no good shape. Her skin was bleached white, her eyes had bags below them. Her hair had been shaved off.

Amanda Wilson was dying. Everyone knew it. She was in the final stages of her cancer. As she kissed her 6 month old baby, the doctor sighed heavily. This was when being a doctor weighed so heavily on him. When he was so helpless. When he could do nothing to ease the pain, the suffering.

Next to her bed stood a man, the father and husband. His eyes were red, his appearance shabby. He looked as bad as his wife.

Amanda looked at her husband, her smile sad. "Call him Wade, my dear. When you miss me, look at him. I'll be right there."

The man clutched her hand. "Don't say that. Nothing will happen, love. You… you…" He broke down into sobs.

"Do not worry, William." She said softly. "I will be with you always. I will be in you. I will be in our son."

The man nodded painfully, as though the slight movement hurt him.

Many years later. Wade stood at his father's grave.

Wade had grown up, though it was obvious. Dirty blonde hair, rosy cheeks, same blue eyes. He looked at the grave of the man who had brought so much misery to him.

His wife's death had been too much for William Wilson. Driven mentally unstable, he remained normal among people, but within his own home, he displayed animal aggressiveness at his own son. The son that, in his mind, represented the downfall of his greatest love.

He'd always been a drinker, but he became a full time drunk after his wife's death. Eventually, so many years later, he died in a bar brawl. Three wine bottles smashed against his skull. Beaten to pulp. Stabbed from a dagger.

Wade reached for a bottle, sprinkling its contents on the grave. He then threw a lighter on it.

Then one hour later, half of the graveyard was in flames, and one kid named Wade Wilson was missing.

Wade Wilson coughed hard.

He was a fresh twenty five years of age, but his life was turning very, very fast. Because of one word.

Cancer.

His mother's cancer was manifesting in him, and he was showing signs. His skin had a yellowish, pale cast, and he felt a persistant pain gnawing inside him.

"Well Wade?" Asked Stryker, smiling as he rubbed his hands. "Do you accept?"

Wade leveled his bloodshot eyes at the scientist. "Why do you care, Stryker? You a fan of my butt, too? A lot of chicks tell me how cute it is. You another fan girl?"

Stryker's jaw froze. "Ignoring your usual pathetic humor, simply put, I care because you are an investment. And you owe me. How many other people would offer you a job anything other than a lowly grunt with your cancer? Hm?"

Wade's eyes narrowed. "Oh, look who's calling favors. You forgot how I saved your butt from those assassins in Nigeria? Brought you seventy five mutants to perform your sick experiments on? Sneaked into Sinestro's lab to bring you genetic samples of every one of _his_ experiments?"

Stryker punched the table. "Damn it, Wade! I'm offering you your last chance of survival here!"

"What are the odds of success, doc?" Asked Wade, as he looked at his hands.

Stryker sighed. "Less, but-"

"How much?"

"Forty one percent."

Wade closed his eyes. Opening them, he said,

"Let's do it."

Silence. Iroh and Deadpool stood there, both unblinking. It was raining again.

"Then what?" Asked Iroh.

Deadpool shrugged. **"They did stuff to me. They killed Wade. When I opened my eyes, I was someone else. Something else. I was this."** He said, taking off his mask.

Iroh stifled a gasp.

His entire face was covered in wrinkles, scabs and scars. He had not a single hair on him. The only thing that remained of his humanity, of the man he once was, were his eyes. A lovely, bright blue. A human blue. Wade's blue.

"**Nice, huh?"** Asked Deadpool, chuckling darkly**. "I do look like Ryan Reynolds, eh? If good ol' Ryan had his skin sawed off and replaced with a crushed kebab."**

Iroh blinked. "I'm sorry."

"**No problem, old man. If had the choice to have anything, I'd say damn my face! Ponies all the way."** He grinned crookedly, before putting his mask back on.

"**Now, I'm gonna wake up Sugarcakes! TO THE MOON!"** He yelled, walking back to the camp.

Iroh stood there, like always. Now he knew what Deadpool hid. Now he knew what he was, who he was. Now he knew why he was mad.

He wished he didn't.


	9. Chapter 9

The road was getting drier. The trio had been going for nearly one day straight- and now they were in a much drier area.

Trees were scarce, and sand was everywhere. A few small camel-hares walked around, nibbling at tufts of rare grass. The occasional vulture-fox screeched.

Iroh and Toph were stooped, walking more like clockwork than living beings. The only influence of life flowed from one man. You know him all too well, I'm afraid.

"**Yeah, you SHOULD be afraid! I mean, couldn't we have just come to some luxury hotel with Chimichangas and hot babes with tiny bikinis? What's wrong with that, huh? You LIKE seeing me like this? I have sensitive skin, I get burned easily!" **Yelled Deadpool, as if he had any skin left to be burned.

"**That's SO rude! It isn't about the truth! It's about manners, and shit! And tacos, and, ooh, hot bikini clad babes!"**

Toph yelled with frustration, impaling Deadpool with yet another rock. Seeing that Iroh wasn't worried about any injury on Deadpool's part, she thought she shouldn't be either.

As Deadpool pried the rock from his deformed body, with various sounds of pain, including, **"Ooh, ouch, Sweet mommy of Deadpool, that hurts!",** the others decided to stop next to a pond, the first one they'd seen so far.

Iroh wiped the sweat from his face. "Well," he said, grinning wildly, "At least we can have tea now!"

Both Toph and Deadpool groaned. If they agreed on anything, it was that Iroh's tea was disgusting. Of course, only tea enthusiasts appreciated Iroh's tea. Neither were tea enthusiasts. Toph had always hated tea- Deadpool was more of a coffee and beer person.

Toph and Deadpool sat on the ground next to the pond. Both avoided the water- Deadpool, who didn't want to show anymore of his scarred form than he had to, and Toph, who as a general rule, preferred being covered in earth.

By the time Deadpool had played the entire Fur Elise using pebbles and voice effects, Iroh had whipped up a Red Dragon Tea from nothing more than water, fire and his trusty herb pouch.

Deadpool sipped the tea, gagging. **"And I thought Klotehechnolerganticunortactudanericlettedic Acid tasted bad… at least it didn't stick to your throat like super glue with dog poo mixed in. Nasty stuff." **

Toph spat the tea onto the ground. "I have no idea what you're talking about, but this really is the worst thing I've ever tasted, and I've tasted food cooked by Sokka, so that's saying a lot."

Iroh sipped his own tea, sighing contentedly before looking at his companions with his nose high in the air. "You youngsters nowadays… you have no respect of the good things in life."

"**I do, which is why I'm wishing for Chimichangas and babes. Hot ones. Wearing…"**

He stopped as a rock dislocated his jaw. Deadpool looked at a blushing Toph with big eyes.

Iroh chuckled. "And about those lady tips, Wade? You don't talk about other women in front of a lady."

"**That just ain't right."** Said Deadpool, readjusting his jaw with a click. **"I talk about chicks in front of Domino all the time. She doesn't hit me with owchie rocks! Well, she does shoot at me from time to time, but then she shoots everybody time from time…"** Ranted Deadpool.

Iroh let out a full bellied laugh, and seeing his belly size, it was a pretty big one. Toph stuck out her tongue at the old man, still blushing furiously.

She stood next to the pond. Deadpool suddenly picked her up and threw her in.

"HEY! Watch it!" Yelled Toph, soaked head to toe.

Deadpool and Iroh were meanwhile laughing their backsides off, while Toph stood there steaming. Iroh managed to squeeze out, "It was the face!" Then collapsed into peals of laughter once more. Deadpool wiped his eyes of tears flowing freely.** "AW MAN! I wish this world had video cameras! Aw, you mad fanfic writer, this is the best filler chapter you've ever written!"**

Toph climbed onto the dry ground, cracking her feet to the ground, hitting Deadpool with a large wedge of rock that sent him flying.

As Deadpool lay there looking at the sky, Iroh came into his line of vision, grinning. "Another lady tip? Do not throw a lady into water, unless you are ready for war."

Deadpool grumbled something about mad chicks and sadistic fanfic writers.

There was a blast of orange. Iroh's eyes flashed. "Fire nation!" He barked, suddenly all business.

He faced the several fire benders still on their feet- two had been encased in rocks by Toph, who was still wet and furious.

As one of them sent a fire blast at the duo, the others sent smaller bursts of flame. As Toph blocked the larger burst with an earth shield, Iroh breathed a jet of flame that devoured the smaller bursts, nut none of the benders were even remotely injured.

Iroh looked back to see Deadpool still lying on the ground.

"What's going on?" He yelled. "Come on, Deadpool!"

"**Not unless she apologizes!"** He whined, pointing his finger at Toph.

"Not a chance, Punching Bag!" She growled, while grabbing and throwing the earth shield at the benders. Four of them managed to muster enough power to blow it up, unhurt.

Meanwhile, Iroh was doing a fine job taking on the rest. Using fire gauzes and his 'dragon breath' he was managing to stay untouched, while a few lucky flame bursts took two more down, while injuring the third. Toph taking him down with a nugget of rock that cracked him in the head.

Iroh yelled, "We need Deadpool, Toph! Do as he says!"

Toph growled. "No."

Iroh was pushed back.

Toph's shields grew more brittle.

"Do it!" Yelled Iroh.

"NO!" Shouted Toph.

A 'dragon breath' took two more down, but Iroh was drained. A fire burst appeared out of nowhere. Iroh managed to deflect it, but fell back, losing consciousness as his head hit a rock.

Growling, Toph yelled. "I'm sorry! Help!"

"**The magic word!" **Said Deadpool cheerily.

"Please!" She yelled, sweat dripping from her face as she erected another shield.

As another soldier leapt on top of Iroh, with an inflamed fist to burn his head off as a trophy. He grinned savagely…

…And kept grinning when his head was cut off. **"Oh, what a pretty head! Maybe someone will find a use for it!" **Yelled Deadpool, swords flashing.

Deadpool sliced through two more men without them ever knowing it.** "Why? Were they blind? Deaf? Dumb? All of the above? Oh, I SURPRISED them…" **

The last man yelled out in fear, before falling on the ground begging for mercy.

"**Sayonara, sucker!"** Screeched Deadpool. A second later, Toph heard a strange bang, and a body slumped on the floor.

Deadpool looked at Iroh, and sighed.

"**Let's just skip to the part next chapter when he's fully healed, ok? I hate playing field medic."**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Well, this is Giantgnat talking, people! Thanks to everyone who's commented, specially to AVP 5, for commenting on nearly every chapter and taking such an interest in this little tale of mine. Thanks, man. And the rest you, please comment! Even if it's just, "Cool" or "This REEKS!". See you next chapter!**_

There was something on the horizon.

As the three stood there, they wondered whether it was some mirage. Except Deadpool.

It was a village of sorts, and earth nation village at that. The houses were wooden, and it wasn't all that different from the one Deadpool and Iroh had met the first time.

"**Ooh! Ooh! Can we blow it up?!"** Asked Deadpool excitedly.

Toph and Iroh glared at him.

"**I was only asking. Sheesh."** Grumbled the mad merc.

They walked that way. They saw no life at all. The whole place was desolate. Abandoned.

They were almost there when Toph picked up some hair. She rubbed them."Are they white?" She asked.

Iroh said they were.

"They've been through here!" Said Toph daring to hope. They certainly felt, and according to Iroh, looked like Appa's hair.

"**Or… they're here roasting meat, lots and lots of meat?"**

Iroh looked over at Deadpool. "Why do you think that, Wade." He said, sighing.

"**Well… that."** He pointed at something with his katana.

Iroh looked, and grew grim.

"Fire," he said quietly.

In the middle of the village, bursts of fire erupted. Some were orange- some were blue.

"Azula is there." Said Iroh, then realized something else. "So is Zuko."

"What?! Then they are there too! Come on!"Yelled Toph, before running towards the village. Deadpool looked at a pale Iroh. **"You want to meet your nephew, right Yoda?"** He said, scratching his armpits with a knife. **"Darn it! Why are you making me scratch myself with a knife? What if I was scratchy DOWN THERE?! You sadistic, literary Darth Vader, you."**

Iroh shook his head at Deadpool's madness. "Azula is there. There is no telling what shape Zuko will be in."

"**Well, let's just go kick your niece's hopefully attractive butt, and meet your natty nephew and tell both of them to lay off the Mexican food, right? It can put anyone's ass on fire. I should know."** Commented Deadpool on the bursts of fire that could be seen, before running after Toph, towing Iroh behind him.

Inside the village, meanwhile, Azula was combating the combined might of Team Avatar and Zuko. And somehow, still holding her ground.

"Give it up, Zuzu." She smirked, "You're no match for me."

Zuko yelled in frustration and threw a large fire ball at his sister. She dodged easily, answering with a short burst of blue flame. He managed to dodge.

Aang shot two air blades at the sadistic fire nation princess before erupting in a fury of quick air bursts.

She back flipped, side flipped and shot a jet of blue fire at the Avatar.

A shield of ice appeared in the way, turning to vapor under the fire but defending Aang.

Katara grunted and sent a few ice daggers at Azula, which were consumed by fire.

Zuko shot a bunch small fire bursts at Azula, who used her fire as a propeller to dodge, while at the same time ducking and counterattacking Aang's and Katara's air blade and water whip with a fire ring that threw them back.

Some space away, Sokka and Momo sat watching the battle. Sokka yelled, "We can do this, Team Avatar! Put your back into it!"

Azula gracefully swept back and smiled dazzlingly at her brother. "It's just you and me now, _Zuzu_."

"Don't bet on it, Princess."

An unexpected rock cracked her in the gut, while she was able to dodge the larger one. A large jet of fire by Zuko made her retreat into a corner.

"Toph!" Yelled Aang, getting up. She smiled. "Right here Twinkle Toes."

"Well… looks like I'm cornered," She smirked.

"**BOTANICALLY DEADPOOLED UNDEAD COW FEED!"** Yelled Deadpool, arriving on the scene and looking at Azula with wide eyes. **"Well, hello, baby girl! Tell me… are those real?"**

Azula ignored his references to her body. "Well… look who's teamed up at me."

She looked at the Team Avatar.

"Enemies…"

She looked at Zuko and Iroh.

"…Traitors…"

Then she saw Deadpool, who was standing in an anime girl pose, blowing her a kiss.

"…And _this_, working together." She said, wrinkling her nose.

She raised her hands.

"I'm not going to fight. I know when I'm beaten."

Her eyes scanned for the weakest in the pack. It was obviously the madman in red.

She smiled. A second later, she sent a strike of lightening at him.

As the blue blade of electricity coursed towards Deadpool, he very neatly disappeared, reappearing behind Azula, and kicking her legs from under her, before sitting on her wriggling body.

"**Ah! That's the best bloody thing you've ever done, my dear writer**!" He yelled at the sky, wiping his tears. Beneath his butt, Azula growled.

Everyone else looked at Deadpool in shock. He was too much in heaven to care.

"**How about you give me and miss hot cheeks some private time? End the chapter already!" **Yelled Deadpool, still in bliss.

I'm afraid I'll have to do as he says. Unless I want to turn this into a Mature rating.


	11. Chapter 10 and a Half

Deadpool was asleep. And dreaming.

"**Nice excuse for an announcement,"** he said.

Thank you.

Deadpool yelled in his best orator voice, **"Hear ye, Hear ye! There is a poll on the profile of the crazy baboon who's writing me. The good news is that it's about who's gonna be my new girlfriend!"**

Yes. There are three choices-

"**The Tiny Terror! The Badass Babe! Here is-" **

Toph. Next is-

"**The Studious Seductress! The Perfect Prefect! The-"**

Katara. And she is neither a Seductress or a Prefect And finally-.

"**The Heir Heroine! The Burning Babe! The-"**

Azula.

"**Now there's a lot to compare… Tophee is pretty badass, and I love badass chicks! Katara… from what I see, that chick is a party-pooper. She's not gonna lemme do ANYTHING! Now Azula… Azula's my kinda girl. Badass, doesn't mind a bit of ka-boom, and is mad! Yay!"**

Shut it. The choice is in the reader's hands.

His demeanor turned mournful. **"Oh don't get me started on them! Mad! Madder than me! Sadistic evil wretches all of them! Enjoy my suffering! No one reviews how the author should embarrass me less. No one notices how he uses me as a review magnet. NO-ONE."**

Shush. Show some respect.

He opened his mouth to talk, and got a mouthful of water.

He opened his eyes to see Katara standing there with a stern expression.

"Get up. We're going to see if you're worth what Toph thinks you are."

Behind her back, Deadpool muttered, **"See? Party pooper."**


	12. Chapter 11 and 12

"**Well, howdy, President! Why the HELL haven't you updated for, like, A WHOLE BLOODY WEEK AND MORE?!"** Yelled Deadpool, as if he had any idea of the hardships his poor author was going through.

"**Oh, save it for your mama! What hardships? School life so tough? Boo-hoo."** Said Deadpool, obnoxiously insulting the person writing him, which is also quite stupid, as the writer can do many things.

Some distance away, Team Avatar looked at Deadpool with expressions varying from Aang's jawdrop, Toph's snickering, Azula's disgust, Katara's distrust, Sokka's unrestrained laughter, Iroh's tea and Zuko's disbelief.

"**Great. Now he embarrasses me. You big bully, you!" **Yelled Deadpool, forgetting that he had, only moments before, been picking on his own poor writer.

"I still don't think we should trust him." Whispered Katara.

Deadpool waved a finger at her. **"Not my fault! It's the writer! It's a conspiracy designed to win him pity! Don't buy it! Don't buy it, I say!" **

As Katara tried to restrain from suffocating the madman in red, Zuko vehemently whispered in his uncle's ear. "The man is obviously mad. Why are you trusting him?!"

Iroh drowned the remainder of his tea. "It is when you strip away ceremony, that truth is revealed."

Zuko scowled. "What does that mean, uncle?"

Iroh smiled, looking at Deadpool, who was thumb wrestling with himself. Awkwardly.

"Deadpool holds no stock in manners. He doesn't care of ceremony, of society. He is fully naked, and this is who he really is. This is the truth."

Zuko massaged his forehead. "Forget I asked."

On the other side, Sokka and Aang were arguing over him. For once, it was Sokka who wanted Deadpool on the group, and Aang contesting him.

"Come on! You see how he fights? All like, pew, few, hai, hua! And next he was sitting on Azula and giving some _sweet_ punch-lines too!" Argued Sokka, defending the man he had come to see as a potential mentor.

Aang rubbed his bald head. "You don't know who's side he's on! He might be a fire-nation spy!"

Toph spoke up. "He defended me from the fire nation. " She reminded Aang.

"Well, maybe it was a ploy." Said Katara, shooting a glance at the mad merc, now asleep on a rock in an uncomfortable position that made even her cringe.

"He killed them." Said Toph flatly.

The others looked at her first, then at Deadpool in shock.

Azula smiled. "Hm. At least one of you has some backbone." She was still bound up, and had no good ideas yet to escape- she thought it was best to bide her time and learn a bit more of the group… for a later date.

Aang ignored her, glaring at Toph instead. "You want a killer on the team?"

She shrugged. "It's not like he killed some random citizen. They were trying to kill us."

Aang was now spinning on his feet, trying to hold back a head ache.

"**You know, aspirin helps. I'm sure I had some back home, right beside the cyanide pills." **

Aang jumped to see Deadpool standing behind him, somehow.

"Get away from me!" Growled Aang, uncharacteristically, how to put this, _pissed_.

Deadpool grinned through his mask. **"You know, I ain't all that bad! I saved a baby koala once! Sure, I had to kill half the zoo to do it, but still-"**

"What's a koala?" Quipped Sokka.

Aang was glad he didn't have hair. He would have ripped them off.

"**The ****koala**** (**_**Phascolarctos cinereus**_** or inaccurately, ****koala bear****) is an ****arboreal****herbivorous****marsupial**** native to ****Australia****, which I also like for the occasional hot chick. It is the only ****extant**** representative of the family ****Phascolarctidae****, and its closest living relatives are the ****wombats****, which you don't know anything about, either. It is easily recognizable by its stout, tailless body; round, fluffy ears; and large, spoon-shaped nose, which may be used to eat pudding. ****Pelage**** color ranges from silver grey to chocolate brown, though unfortunately it isn't available in Chimichanga flavor." **Ranted Deadpool.

As Deadpool explained the breeding habits of the common koala and Sokka took notes like an eager student attending his first lecture, the rest of the team was still debating over his inclusion to the team.

"He's mad!"

"Absolutley, totally mad! Madder than king Bumi!"

"He's madder than that lemur thing you lot own!"

"Hey! Momo is not mad! Be nice, Zuko!"

"You realize this is the same Zuko who-"

"SHUT IT."

This was Toph.

"Just keep him on the team on probation, okay? Check him. I owe him my life. If none of you get that… well, I'm leaving this team along with him." She said, folding her arms.

The rest of the team looked at each other, then at the mad man who was now explaining the taxonomy and evolutionary tree of the modern koala to Sokka, who looked like he was learning the secrets of the universe.

"Fine," Sighed Aang. "But I'm doing this for you… Sifu Toph. Not him."

She smiled, obviously relieved. "Good."

Azula scoffed. "Great. I'll have to survive him further."

Suddenly Deadpool dropped out of nowhere, and hugged the people closest to him- which happened to be Toph and Azula.

"**That reminds me! The poll is still up! Which one of these is destined to be my babe, hm?"** He yelled.

Toph turned red and Azula gagged. Both of them kicked his ass.

By the time he could look up without it hurting, Deadpool saw Sokka bent over him, eyes wide.

"You survived?" He asked, bewildered, and in awe.

Deadpool raised a thumbs-up.

"Teach me, master!" Begged Sokka, drowning in awe.

Deadpool sat up in the classic wise-old-man pose and stroked an imaginary beard. **"Very well, Anakin. Your new name- will be Bob."**

Sokka, I mean Bob, grinned widely. "Right! I'm Bob!"

Deadpool sprang up, punching his fists in the air. **"Look out, weird world! Deadpool and Bob are gonna whup your heinie!"**

Okay… that… is probably the first sign of doomsday for the Avatar World.

Another Bob.

Deadpool as teacher.

This is how fearsome boredom is. It can lead people like me to write about the potential doomsday of entire worlds while drinking tea.

At least this story will stop _you_ from getting bored.


End file.
